Be Strong

I told myself to be strong. When I was washing my face, I looked at myself and told myself to be strong. "You are not going back to having feelings for him" I kept repeat it to myself over and over and over again.

That's why I didn't take the hat. For one, I didn't spend a hour crying over a hat that I just lost for nothing. The other, I can not have anymore contact from him ever again. I can not go soft. I have to be strong. No more unrealistic thoughts about him. I just can't. I moved on and I'm happy now.

I haven't cry like this for ...almost a month now. I don't know why I cried like this. Letting out all those unfinished feelings? Kayy said I really need to think about why I cried like this. I think she was trying to say that I still have feelings for him. I do. I loved him so much, how can I not have feelings for him? But so? After what happened, it means nothing now.

I'm being really strong here. I'm not going to be drag back into his mess again. I won't do it.