I just want to be happy

Today, out of nowhere I realized what I been chasing after in the last week or so. I just want to be happy.

I thought by talking to him, trying to get part of old times back. I can be happy like how I used to be. I thought that's how I would get my happiness back. I was wrong.

I thought by seeing him, by agreeing to be his gf, I can be happy again. I thought if I try hard enough I can be happy again. I was wrong.

I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know how to get out of this mess.

Should I stop talking to him? Should I stop trying to relive the old memories? Should I break up with him? Should I move on and try to get pass this by myself?

I don't know. I just want to be happy. I just want to laugh and smile and be worry free. I want to be free of all those emotions. That's what I want. Please.